Wednesday, 28 December 2016



labakada puma kuram da makalada.

you remember pingu?

how funny we guys used to be. i swear to God i thought the two of us could talk pingu. you complimented well. Vebz isn't really good at pingu. Truth be told, he sucks. haha.

how have you been? you doing well? i hope you're happy.

You know Rajjo was here. For his honeymoon. I met him twice. I did Christmas at ours this year. I mean, we did it on the 22nd. I set up a cardboard Christmas tree. Rajjo took a picture. I missed you. We used to do Christmas together at Aman's. It used to be nice. I missed you. I kept myself busy with a lot of cooking, so it was mostly fine during and after the dinner. I terribly missed you before though.

I wonder how new years will be. You remember I facetimed you last time? Even spoke to Aman and the gang. It had become a ritual. Us getting together every new year. it had become a ritual at almost all occasions. I mean Aman Appa had become our extended family. I even missed them at times. How do I not miss you?

Do you like the painting I made? I wonder if i should talk about you with people. I wear your dresses all the time. Like i wore for V's birthday and for Christmas day. Man, you have beautiful dresses. I can't believe some of them are absolutely untouched. Remember that Blue white skirt I got you for your birthday. It still has its tag on. Can't believe you never wore it; it was your choice. Sometimes, you're real funny. and crazy.

I was at Westfield yesterday. Saw some people ice skating. Ive done it once in India. I remember telling you about it. I think you told me you haven't done it as yet. I wondered if you got the opportunity in the last year. You would have enjoyed. even the falling part. it really hurts though. i hope you did try it once.

i wonder about a lot of things. you were really nice. sometimes, you were an asshole to me. but generally, you were really nice. I was an asshole to you a lot more times than one would think. but i had your back man. I'm sorry i failed you. i wish you would have spoken to me once. you remember when you called me when i was in chennai; you cried and said "di, tu wapis aa ja." remember that? i wish you had done that 1 more time. i wish you would have just said it once. i really miss you bhai. and i really love you. i wonder if this pain will ever cease, or at least get bearable. I read how others cope, it seems that those who are to get okay with it, get okay soon; some get real scarred for life. I'm pretending. help me. please. i miss you. i wish i could hug you. i know you'd probably push me away, but i'd still try. i love you. i miss you.

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