Thursday, 10 November 2016

Loving Can Hurt.

everyone says, loving can hurt.

you lived through it. it hurt. you gave up. i know it just wasn't love. i told you to stop crying over the same boy over and over. you said, you aren't crying over the same boy. you're crying over how life did not turn out your way. that you want a nice relationship but you're in love with an undeserving person. you want lots of money but don't know what your calling in life is. that you want to go out with friends everyday to drown your pain and that's not acceptable at home. i said then go get yourself a job, any job. & you said, "who bhi toh nahi mil rahi".

i believe you. mujhay bhi nahi mil rahi. its been a year and still no word. i don't know if its racism or sexism. cuz i fit the bill for both. I don't have many friends either. & you said, but you have a husband who loves you at the end of the day. i do. i can't deny it. but did you not see that i hurt too? i was in love with an undeserving guy as well. I too did not know what to do with my life. I too did not have a job for over 6 months when i did not have a lover or direction in my life. you saw that i survived. i know you tried. i know you tried real hard. but why did you not keep faith? did you not know that loving can hurt?

mum & dad can't understand your need for drowning your pain by partying. but never the less, they did love you.

i couldn't stay with you forever. I chided you over crying over things. i wanted you to get strong. i said mean things. but never the less, you are/were my favourite person in this world. i do not/did not talk about anyone else as much as i talk about you. im a happy person, but i am private; but everyone who knew me, knew that i have/had a sister. do you know how it feels.. to think that I'm the only child? do you not know, that loving can hurt?

loving hurts & it hurts like being hit in the head by a truck. why? why Vinu why? you knew that loving can hurt, yet you did this to me, to us! why? did you really not know that loving does hurt!

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