Thursday 3 November 2016

Rewind?

What's the point of letting go?

And more importantly how do I? You were not a lover who did me wrong.. Just about how does the world expect me to get over this? Over you!

I did not give you birth. You know it. I know it. The world knows you. But I sure as hell brought you into this world. Did you know you were my request, rather demand! I asked for you. I begged for you. I wanted you, so bad. And then, you came.

Then, we grew up. I may not have been the best at things. But I did try my best to protect you. To be there for you. To make you strong. But, you were always this fragile little baby that I always felt the need to take care of. So I did, in my own way. I think I did it a little too much and ensured nothing bad comes your way.

Then, I got married. I moved away. I know that broke your shell. But did you not know that the miles couldn't really separate us? Did you not know all you had to say was "Di, please come home?" I would have. I promise you. Why didn't you call? Why did you avoid my calls? Did you not know you were mine for keeps? You were mine for keeps. Everything else could change. You were supposed to be the eternal content till my last freaking breath, Yes, I am selfish. Yes, I believe you were supposed to be there till I die. You promised you'll spoil my kids. Why did you go away without keeping your promises? Do you not love me? Do you know how much it hurts?

Yes, I know you were hurting. But it was a phase. It would have passed. Why did you do this? You gave me/mum-dad eternal pain. How do I not think about it? You were never supposed to not be there. How do I let go? You can't let go of the air you breathe, the water that you need. Did you not know I need you? I did yesterday. I do today. And I sure as hell will tomorrow. Do you not love me at all? You were supposed to love me unconditionally. Yes, you could hurt me from time to time. But this, this is unacceptable. Can you somehow be kind, rewind?

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